Thanks for listening to Take Out Therapy, where you can improve your mental health, emotional stability, and life skills in less than 20 minutes a week. Simple, straightforward, authentic advice and education, right from a private practice therapist and anxiety expert. I'm Rebecca Hunter, and this is Better Mental Health, delivered.
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Let's start growing together with that code, LISTEN24. This is Better Mental Health, delivered. Today, I want to talk about what I'm going to call lighthearted living.
Aren't we so serious about every little thing? And it matters. So yeah, it like really matters. It really impacts us when we live in a serious manner.
I'm really thinking this one through. So this episode is just an opportunity for you and I both to lighten things up. Maybe decide what is important and focus on what's good.
You know? So for all of you perfectionist type A people, anxious folks, or future trippers, I'm here with you. We can do this. We can lighten up.
Okay, so here's the situation. We have become so serious. When did we stop being fun? Everything is so serious, whether it's our job, the very, very important work we do, whether it's raising our kids or figuring out, you know, whether to move, where to live, or what our later life goals are, whether it's to be in a relationship or not.
Sometimes we get very particular, frankly, and serious. And all of a sudden, life becomes not that fun at all. You know, they have research and serious people tend to be less happy.
So we got to lighten up, you know, because not everybody wants to hang out with people who are serious all the time. Some people like to have fun. And I'm going to learn more about this.
No, I think I used to be more fun than I am now. And I'm going back again, because yes, serious. You know, whenever I clean, I'm not serious, but I am serious about my cleaning.
I'm very detail oriented. But when I clean, I become silly, fun and lighthearted. And I like myself right there.
I put my music on, I put I wear like a sports bra and some shorts or some tights, some crazy get up usually for sure. I have this sweatshirt that has mushrooms all over it in the winter. That's what I clean in.
It's the only place in my life sometimes that I feel like I just like let go. And so it's become a coping skill, frankly. And I don't really I don't know about you.
And I don't really have any judgment. I don't care. But I don't really want cleaning to be my coping skill.
I would rather spend my time in different ways. So lightening up, you know, when we're serious all the time, we're like missing out on things. We're missing out on potential joy, because really any situation can be fun, like waiting in the grocery store line or watching somebody's really annoying kid yell or watching your own really annoying kid yell and scream in the grocery store.
Right. We could lighten up a little, just a little bit. A lot of people should all over themselves.
We should not should all over ourselves, friends. That I got from a wonderful client that I had many years ago. It's a recipe for a miserable existence to live in the shoulds of how we ought to be and what we should be doing and how what the rules are.
I'm not advocating for you to break rules, but I'm just saying some rules are stupid. And I know you agree with me. So, hmm, you know, this seriousness, you know, even important situations are not that serious.
You guys know, I'm trying to move. I really am. My house is on the market.
If you want to buy it, get in touch. I'm trying to move to the southwest because I live in the Pacific Northwest and it literally rains all the time here. And if I don't get some sunshine, I'm not going to be sunshine.
You know what I'm saying? So I really want to move. And this could be a very serious situation. My house is on the market and they call it random.
They're like, you guys got to go. Blah, blah. We got to gather up the puppy and all that crap and everything.
And it's annoying. But and it could be really serious, but we don't take it seriously. We're like, look at our watches and we're like, ready, set, go.
And we both have things that we're supposed to take care of. We've made it into this like funny game where we were talking to the realtor yesterday and I was like, listen, so we have a situation where we are right at an hour of being able to get out of our house. So you just let us know if you get anybody.
It's a slow season. It'll sell. Believe me, my house is awesome.
I live in one of the most beautiful places in the country. I'm not worried. Like life will work out whether I'm all serious and stressed out about things.
You know, or not. When we're serious all the time, our relationships become strained. Frankly, people don't want such seriousness all the time.
Sometimes someone will bail. They'll just be like, no, I can't. Negativity becomes a theme.
And listen, as a formerly incredibly negative person, I do not want to live with somebody negative. I can't because I'll be like, oh my God, I know this rain is terrible. I ate it here too.
No, no, no, no, no, no. It's easier to be lighthearted. It's a more enjoying, enjoyable experience.
The thing is, is like when you're, when everything is so serious, it becomes really isolating because we're the ones and we're fighting the good fight and no one else cares if there's pubes on the bathroom floor. Like no one else cares what is up with that. You know, it's like we think things are important that other people don't think are important.
And that isn't always hurting other people, although sometimes, but it's really hurting you. It's hurting me. It hurts to be so serious all the time.
So let's play around today with how to bring some lightheartedness into your life. We're going to use a day by day approach. Okay.
So here's a question for you. What matters most? What matters most to you? Pick only three things. Okay.
So here's what I say, I will say is like day by day approach every day. Ask yourself, what's really important to you today? Like what absolutely must go as well as possible today? You can only pick three things. And really, between you and I, if you tend to do this to many different areas of your life, I would say like pick one in the area of yourself, one in the area of work and one in the area of relationships, where you get, let me say, not lighthearted.
So maybe you're particular about the way a certain person does their work, or maybe this person just drives you crazy. And you're expending emotional energy, like thinking, hoping they will be different every day. And then you get to work and you're like, Oh my God, this person drives me crazy.
Like that's something that you don't have to feel so serious about. Say your management sucks. That is not something that you need to be so serious about.
Let's learn how to bring in some lightheartedness. Let's learn to lighten up some of these situations. Like, you know how sometimes you don't talk to yourself very nice? I know, because I do it too.
We don't have to then berate ourselves for talking about ourselves not nicely. We could just throw in a funny statement that will help us regroup to remember like, Oh, I'm not really doing that right now. We don't have to have everything be so serious.
So again, the challenge is use a day by day approach every day. Ask yourself what what matters today, right? And everything else that isn't super duper important that it goes as planned. Tell it to buzz off.
Let it go. Practice acceptance of difference and habits and character of others. That's a good kind of pathway to doing some of this work.
Because the thing is, is like, you know, other people, they got problems. They can be so annoying. And we can get really serious in our disdain and our lack of patience.
We can think things like, when we get to move to the Southwest are important when really, like, come on. It's an absolute joy and privilege to get to move to the Southwest that I am looking forward to so, so much. And I will look forward to the people who are supposed to find my home.
I will really, really look forward to them coming and finding it. It's going to be soon. I can feel it.
Right? Practice acceptance. And then another great way and the last my last suggestion for you today. Another wonderful way to bring in just some light hearted energy to lighten up in life is creativity.
Now, wait a second before you say I'm not creative, which I hear all the time from people and I always pick it. Call me up. We can talk about it.
I have, I still have room in my schedule to pick at the wound of creativity. Creativity is a pathway to joy and lightness, laughter and silliness. It is a pathway to a smile.
I'm telling you, and not just because I'm a creative person, because we know through research that creativity is really good for us and that we're all really creative and I could go on and on as to the reason why the, you know, thousands of hours that I've spent in the therapy chair talking with people about how they got their creativity wound. I'm telling you, you guys, the education system is not was not kind. I don't know about you, but when I was growing up, right, if the teacher said, draw a tree and you drew a bird, you're sitting in the corner, sweetheart, like you're not creative.
You're not a good artist. It, there are a million tiny messages in life where you have gotten your ideas about creativity. I'm going to do a whole podcast on this later, later in the year.
I recently sat down and wrote out 125 podcast topics that I'd like to do. So stick around. I'm going to be here and I'm giving away my 30 day free takeout therapy club membership.
Don't forget, go visit the website at takeout therapy.com. I hope this episode helps you to live just a tiny bit more of a lighthearted existence. And I just like always will be here doing the same. You know, I will make one more suggestion and it's dancing.
Go put some good music on, make a super healthy dinner for yourself and do a little dancing. See how it feels. Let me know.
I'll see you again soon. Thanks so much for joining me today to support this free resource, subscribe, review and pass an episode along to a friend in need. And always please get the level of support that you need for your situation.
Want a full session? Just reach out. I'm here to help. Head to takeout therapy.com for lots more resources and to join my community.
This is better mental health delivered. Attention podcast listeners. Your mental health upgrade has finally arrived.
I'm gifting new members a 30 day free trial to the takeout therapy club, your bite-sized path to wellbeing. Picture this monthly therapist led workshops, tackling real life struggles, bonus coaching sessions, and a supportive community for zero judgment high fives. It's your personal toolkit for thriving delivered straight to your device.
Ready to unlock your best self. Just enter the code. Listen, 24 at takeout therapy.com. That's it.
I even put an easy link below your free trial starts now. Investing in your mental health is the very fastest way to peace and take out therapy club makes it easy and affordable. Let's start growing together with that code.
Listen 24. This is better mental health delivered.