Modern Day FOMO
Well, hello there. Holy moly. Is it seriously mid December right now? In a couple weeks, I'm gonna be doing my New Year's reboot episode that I do every year, which will help you plan your twenty twenty four.
Make a personal growth plan. Create your theme word for the year. That's gonna be a fun one. But today, we're talking about FOMO because here's here's the situation. Modern day FOMO is real.
People feel left out in some way or another a lot of the time actually. But are you really being left out? Is that true If you have a hard time discerning what you actually wanna be included in and what you don't, then you might experience a lonely feeling sometimes. Or if you know that things are happening and you're not there, it can create some discomfort in the body and emotionally. But when you can allow things to happen, without you, it frees you up to live your own life.
So let's get into this. But before I do, what I wanna say is like, fear of missing out, FOMO is real. We all experience it in some way at some time. And it helps to be able to sort out our feelings around this issue. Was just actually a pretty advanced skill.
So that is why. I am here to teach you to sort out your feelings, to be present with yourself so that you can see what's going on on that deeper level. Of course, I've created a beautiful little visual guide to help you overcome things like FOMO, which totally includes overthinking and rumination, my little visual guide will help you learn to become more present to what you want, what's happening with you, not to mention becoming more focused on your own life. And your own joy. So you can download this free guide on my website at takeout therapy dot com.
I'm here for you. I'm doing a little graphic design on your behalf. Check it out. There's a huge button on my website that says download a peaceful mindset. What could possibly go wrong?
Okay. So let's dig into this idea about modern day FOMO. FOMO, Fear of missing out. Right now, human beings are experiencing more loneliness than ever. The research shows that we are disconnected in new and in really important ways.
And so we have to understand that, like, there's a ton of things happening in the world. We have access to way too much information, whether it's the news from faraway lands, or what someone's eating for breakfast, or the social media performance, we can't really get disconnected with so much information coming at us all the time, and it's easy to feel like we're missing out on things that we're not a part of. I feel this way in my own life on a regular basis. Part of emotional maturity is saying like, yeah. I actually am experiencing this and I need to work with myself around this because the thing is is our misery isn't causing anybody else, any problems.
We're generating this suffering by engaging in life from this lens of missing out, from this lens of not being included. And what happens to us is that we lose sight of our own lives. And what we're actually doing, what we're actively and authentically involved in. When we do this, my friend, our relationships suffer. Our self esteem tanks, and we feel really uncomfortable and crappy.
FOMO is absolutely terrible for our mental health. In some cases, fomo can be life threatening. It can really, really isolate people and make them feel alone. So today, I wanna help you change this dynamic. If you experience this if you experience this just like I do, just like most people do.
Okay? So here are my tips for changing this situation of this self created suffering of FOMO. One thing is you've got to plan your life. Your life. How do you want to engage in your life?
Like, what are the activities that you'd love to engage in. I always tell people in therapy. Go ahead. Look at your week before it happens. Like, How many times do you want to be social this week?
What are your plans to do that? You know what I mean? Like, what are the activities that you're gonna do? Make your own life plan instead of watching other people make their life plan and then feeling like crappy about it. You know?
So it's really helpful for people to to start calendaring things. Like, you know, if you have a party to go to, throw that thing on your calendar. If you would like to have lunch where you connect specifically with a person, put that on the calendar. Make a plan so that you are actually so engaged in your life, that you know that you're kind of you're kind of setting your own life up the way you want it to be, FOMO becomes less of an issue. You have to be really intentional with your time and energy.
When we lose sight of our own goals and intentions for our connection for our social life, for how we're gonna participate in life, we fabricate this idea that we're missing out. And again, we're the only person that's suffering here. Right? So it's really interesting because people come and they're like, I I'm feeling it, like, super left out of this. And I'm like, what do you have going on?
And they're like, well, You know, I really have been working on this. I'm over here doing this. I'm, you know, going to the gym. I'm going to therapy. I'm engaging with my friends in a different way.
I'm slowing down. I'm creating close connections. I want quality versus quantity. So then maybe there isn't any missing out happening. Right?
When we are more intentional with our time and energy, these moments of FOMO, they don't feel so damaging because we've already, like, intended about how we're gonna spend our time and energy. The other thing is I think it's easy to lose sight of what you are part of. And this happens all the time. Right? Take a look at the news.
There is so much happening in the world and it's hard to feel like we can participate in a constructive way. Right? Like, it's easy to feel that important and meaningful things are going on, and there's literally nothing we can do about them. Okay? So the social media and the YouTube streams are really not that helpful.
In this regard. You know, one thing I was thinking about in regard to this is, like, as a podcaster, I have. My feeds are filled with things I ought to be doing. Thing ways I can increase my listenership and things that I can do to get customers and ways that I can be better at what I'm doing. Like, I could be doing thousands and more things than just pop it out here to my mic every now and again and blah blah blah into it for twenty minutes.
But the thing is, is like I'm being really intentional right now about how I actually want to be spending time. But when I get these emails and these YouTube videos and like all these things that I should be doing, I start to feel like, oh, man. Right? I'm missing out. I'm not doing the right things.
I should I should I should I should Here's the deal. In order to work your way through FOMO, you gotta let go of the shoulds. Don't shit all over yourself. That was something my client taught me one time that I thought was so funny. You know, it's easy to get caught up in like thinking we should be doing all these things that we actually don't have any interest in doing, you know?
And so one of the ways to sort of combat this is to remember that you're participating participating in your immediate life. In the groups, in the relationships, in your community, in the way that you want to be. And so, like, if you're not, then be more intentional about that. Plan ahead. You look at the news and you see all this terrible stuff going on.
Okay. Well, there's nothing you can do over there. But what can you do within your own existence to create something different? To help people that are struggling. That's kinda what I'm talking about.
How can you create more connection and more just good vibes. Right? Like, can we ditch the high school vibes? Please, can we ditch the high school vibes? You know, we all have friends that want to flaunt all their tivity's and all the things they're doing and they're like, my life is so great and look at what I have going on.
It's easy. To get caught up in that. It's easy to be like, oh, there's three of my friends at a restaurant having dinner, like, I guess they forgot to call me. Right? Ditch it, ditch the high school vibes.
Be emotionally mature. Be intentional with your time and your energy. And give meaning to your own existence. Meaning, like, if you wanted to go to the dinner, which is so funny because I get really I I'm just like you are. I see people, and I'm like, hey, I wonder why I wasn't invited to that.
And then I think, well, Rebecca, You wouldn't have said yes anyway. Those aren't things you like to do anymore. That's not a place you like to go. That isn't that isn't even food that you like to eat. So it's like it takes this maturity to work ourselves through and out of FOMO.
It takes this emotional awareness and this intentionality to, like, remember ourselves. FOMO is a self created hell. Isn't it? So here's the deal. Just let people live their lives.
Let the news cycle roll. Let social media highlight all the good parts, all the pretty parts. While you engage in reality, engage in your life, your authenticity, and your wholehearted approach. Your participation in what you want to participate in. And if sometimes you get left out, it's okay to feel femo.
And it doesn't mean that anything has to be different. Again, it's just a way that we feel sometimes and we don't have to make it, like, let it give us misery. So hopefully, if you're someone who feels the FOMO right now with this absolute information, barrage, this episode has helped, like, calm your nervous system down. Take a few deep breaths and remember that you're actually designing your life over here while all that stuff's going on. It's not that you're not included It's not that you're not doing anything, but you're not doing that, not today.
And that, my friend, is okay. It really is. And hopefully, this helps you work your way through FOMO and remember that you're awesome. And you don't have to be included in everything in order to have great relationships and good mental health. Okay?
I'll see you next time.