Thanks for listening to Take Out Therapy, where you can improve your mental health, emotional stability, and life skills in less than 20 minutes a week. Simple, straightforward, authentic advice and education, right from a private practice therapist and anxiety expert. I'm Rebecca Hunter, and this is Better Mental Health, delivered.
Visit TakeOutTherapy.com for lots more resources to help you thrive. Well, hello there, listener. Thanks so much for joining me for Take Out Therapy today.
This is the first episode of 2024. Yippee, here we are in a brand new year. I'm going to help you do something that I do every single year on the podcast, which is just to mark the occasion with some intentional work around what's your personal growth project going to look like this year.
To sit down and think about what you've accomplished this year, how you've grown, and where you're headed for the following year. Like I always say, this doesn't really have to happen at any certain time of the year, but as we head into a brand new year, we definitely, many people do an assessment. Many people take a look at how did 2023 go? How do I want 2024 to go? But you can come across this podcast at any time and come back to it and do this project whenever it moves you.
One thing I'll say about today's episode is it's part of a two-part series. It's for people who want to step into 2024 with intention to grow, intention to change, and perhaps even thrive. This podcast series is for people who care about healing from the past, are ready to move forward, maybe change some unhealthy behaviors and dynamics in your life, and just generally folks who want to evolve with an intention and purpose.
I'm going to help you do that over the next two weeks with this new year's reboot. So let's get going. This week, we're going to assess the situation.
And next week, I'm going to teach you how to set very, very clear and specific goals for yourself this year that you will plug away on all year long. And then next year, we'll do the same thing. We'll assess how'd you do on these goals and how do you want to do it moving forward.
Okay, let's get going. Quickly, I want to remind you that I've created a video and visual guide to help you do your personal growth work, starting with learning how to become present. Because here's the thing, we can't do a ton of personal growth work if we're not able to just shut out the world and be with ourselves, be present, maybe in our environment with our emotions.
And so I like to help you guys do that. I've created, I had a visual guide for a long time. Maybe you've already downloaded it.
Maybe you got something out of it. Let me know. But I actually, this past week, paired it with a video workshop, which I think more and more people are relating to visual trainings.
And so I'm trying to meet up with you right there. So if you've already downloaded that guide, just shoot me an email and I'll send you the link to the video training. And otherwise head to take out therapy and download this video and visual guide.
It'll help you overcome overthinking, like have less drama in your life, get rid of some emotional turmoil by learning to become present, more focused, less scattered and overwhelmed. Okay. So that's what I have for you today.
Let's get going with this new year's reboot. It's 2024. Holy moly.
That to me feels like, I don't know, it feels like I'm old. What does it feel like to you? Let's do a little introspection. You know, some people think like, I don't really want to look at the past year.
I just want to move forward. But here's the deal. Personal growth is all about intentional living.
It's like you're driving your life. So without any intention, you're going to end up on some backwards ass desert road. That's not even paved, right? Personal growth is where we set intention about how we want to live our lives because here's the deal.
Accountability is kind of important. It's the key to growth. If you're not willing to have accountability, then it's going to be really hard for you to make any progress.
So part of this assessment is just helping you to take a look without being unkind, without being self-critical. Having the emotional maturity to reflect is very, very important in personal growth work. But I will tell you, I like to do it the easy way.
So I always like to start with what's going well. It's a really nice place to start. When we look back at the past year, I think it's very easy to get caught up in like, well, I was going to do this and I didn't do that.
Now let's not do that. Let's start with what's going well. I start a lot of my sessions this way.
It's very different session that starts with what's going well than a session that starts with what's going awful. I'll tell you that. We get a lot more done and it's a lot more productive process.
When we are able to look at like, where am I doing well? Where am I sort of living in my values, following my priorities? Where am I being really intentional in my life? So what's gone well for you this year? What were your goals for last year and did you plug away on those things? Have you been walking towards feeling better in your mental health, in your physical health, at work, in your relationships, with your communication? Right? Like recognize the wins, my friend, because I think it's very necessary that you hold space for the fact that like, Hey, so you're sitting here listening to a self-help podcast and that has to count for something. Okay. It has to count for something.
Give yourself a little bit of credit for something. So we always want to start with what's going well. And you know, like I said, grab a pen and paper for this episode, or if you don't have a pen and paper, just make a mental note of like, actually, you know, I've really been working on these things this year over the past few months, whatever.
And then we want to build on those things. So the things that are going well are going in your direction. And wouldn't it be nice to like put another brick on that wall, right? Like to say, okay, well, my communication's improved and then how can I take that and even more improve it? Right? So you always want to take what's going well and just build on it a little bit.
Right. So and then the other piece of that is that will, that will really like set you up to improve what's not going well. Meaning, yeah, like there's some things that are going really well, and there's some things that are going really awful, frankly, if we look at all of our lives, and I'll just tell you in my life, there are things that are going really well, there are things that are going really awful.
But overall, just remember, we're doing fine. Like this is life is very up and down. It is very, um, it fluctuates, right? And so we can't look at the, the big picture of things and say all bad.
We have to be able to pick out the things that are going well and be willing to look at the things that we could be doing differently. That's the other thing. You know, this process is very personal.
It's an I based process. I don't look at my last year and be like, oh yeah, so my partner really needs to work on this. No, that's not constructive.
I'm only looking at myself, my own intentions, my values, my goals, and saying, where am I at? How am I doing? So just remember through this process, you're doing fine. Okay? So the way I'm going to structure this for you this year is that we're going to do things that are out for 2024 and things that are in for 2024. I really like this idea because it's basically like, I'm going to let go of some of this crap and I'm going to bring in some of this type of thing, whether it's a behavior or activities or whatever, a job, some people, it doesn't matter.
We're going to do outs and ins for 2024. So we want to base these in like, what are you going for? Right? Like, what's your over arching goal? Do you want more peace? Do you want to calm down? Do you want less drama? Do you want less anxiety or to feel more uplifted? Like you have to decide what it is you're looking for in your life, what the necessary change might be, and then set up your priorities, right? Because I think a lot of times, like I really want to have a peaceful life. And then like, I do things that don't facilitate peace, frankly.
How about you? Do you experience this? Like I really want this. And then I'm kind of doing something that's bringing me the opposite. So right now it's just a chance to say like, oh yeah, that's pretty detrimental to what I really overall want from my life.
So determine some, you know, values that you want to follow, whether you're trying to be like more straightforward, more honest, more authentic, maybe a little bit more playful, more lighthearted. Some have a little more fun, right? You get to choose, okay? And then based on those, what you want to do, and you can do this on a piece of paper very, very easily, is you want to, on one side of the paper, out for 2024 is one column. And on the other side of the paper, in for 2024 is the other column.
And we're going to look at this in terms of three areas of life. We want to look at work, and that doesn't matter whether it's a job or you stay home, you know, life is work. There's a lot of things that we have to do in our life that are just full on work, whether it's go to a job or it's taking care of the bills or taking the car to get the headlights changed like life is work.
Right? And so I want to have that be a category because the other categories are important, but they're not the same. And the other categories are relationships. This is like how you are doing in the relating to other humans area, which can be easy and it can be really hard, right? How are you doing at relationships and the different components that are included within that? For example, communication and connection and honesty and trust, things like that.
Right? And then the third area we want to explore is the area of self. Oh boy. Isn't that a complicated one self? What do you mean, Rebecca? Well, what I mean is your mental, physical, and spiritual self, right? Not only the meat sack that you're sitting in, which is like your body and your health, right? But also like your mental health, your cognitive health, really.
How's that brain of yours working? And how is your emotional life going? That's different from your physical health. And yet there's something else in there as well that I just called spiritual, which I don't even know if it is called spiritual, but it's more like the you of you. The person that's way deep buried beneath all the crap you have to do and all the fuzz and the noise and the, the busyness of life.
It's your capital S self. And that is like a relationship really that you have with your, um, with your being. You know what I mean by that? Like who the heck are you? What do you care about? Are you maintaining a relationship with that part of you? So self is yes, complicated, multifaceted dynamic.
Um, but it's one of the areas that we want to look at when we're starting to look at the past year and set intentions for next year. So that's what I want you to do. I want you to on a piece of paper or in your mind, but more on a piece of paper, like this is personal growth work.
Let's get a pen and paper, shall we, um, write down out for 2024 on one side in for 2024 on the other side, and then examine these three areas of relationships, work and self. So I'm going to run through some examples really, really quickly, because what I recommend is that in your out column, you list three ish ideas for each of the categories. So in relationships, my ideas are like out for 2024.
Like I'm done reacting too quickly to situations. I'm done. People-pleasing I'm done taking things personally.
Those things are out for 2024. Right. Okay.
So then what's in well in relationships, taking breaks in conflict, right. Being more authentic and saying no, when I need to, um, generating more meaningful communication and connection in my relationships. Those things are all in for 2024, right? Does that help you? Does it give you some ideas about, um, kind of how to do this exercise? I'll do it for the self as well.
And then you can sit down with your paper and your life and do it for, for these three categories on your own. Okay. So if I had to look at self, some examples of things that are just full on out for 2024 is like scrolling.
That is soul crushing to me, friends. I've got to stop scrolling. Scrolling is out for 2024, like unintentional unstructured scrolling, ignoring like pain and body-based problems, ignoring the fact that sometimes I need a walk and my body is like jumping up and down going, dude, go for a walk.
And I'm just like, I'm too busy. That is out for 2024. Like I'm not doing that anymore.
Um, let's see. So I have been very serious about things and it's really impacted my mental health in the past month or so. Like I'm just so serious about everything.
And so that's out. Like I'm going to, um, be, I'm going to try to work on being a little bit more lighthearted, right? Okay. So ignoring pain, body-based problems, like maybe posture issues are out for 2024 mindless scrolling is out.
Yeah. Ignoring my spirituality, my, my self of self side that is out for 2024. I'm going to be doing something different.
So as I move across the page and I go to the in, like what is in for 2024, I'm going to start making a plan to take care of my body better. Like to really schedule that in like planning for body care. I'm going to try to cultivate a little bit more of my spiritual life, which for me includes meditating more, getting out in nature, um, reading different content, listening to some different things on insight timer, which is my very favorite meditation app.
Um, let's see. So in for 2024, in terms of myself would also be like some planned scrolling as opposed to mindless, unintentional scrolling. And frankly, more days laying around on my couch, reading good books.
I want to try to read 50 books this year. So reading is in for 2024. So hopefully this has provided you with a good example of a way that you can go into your life, get a piece of paper and start really coming up with some things that you want to focus on in the coming year.
Some things to let go of and some things to move towards because next week we're going to get together for another quick 20 minute episode. And we're going to help you set some very, very specific goals, some reachable goals that you'll be able to plug away on in these three areas of your life all year long. You're welcome.
I'm totally here for you to help you do your personal growth work. And part of that work is creating intention and having accountability and being willing to self reflect because those things are the key to growing and emotional maturity as a person. My friend, they are the key to living intentionally.
And that's why I'm doing this work. So you and I can continue to live an intentional, lovely, peaceful life. Okay, so I'll see you next week for the second half of the New Year's reboot.
Take care of yourself. Thanks so much for joining me today to support this free resource, subscribe, review and pass an episode along to a friend in need. And always, please get the level of support that you need for your situation.
Want a full session? Just reach out. I'm here to help. Head to takeouttherapy.com for lots more resources and to join my community.
This is better mental health delivered.